“OMG, Mom I totally hate you. I can’t believe you just said that I had to clean my room before going outside.” Have you ever been on the receiving side of this sort of comment?
Me? Absolutely not!! While I have never experienced this venom being spat in my direction verbally. I am sure that it has crossed a mind or two. Wait I take that back I have had one child to tell me to go to hell. But that was the last time he EVER said that to me. No, he isn’t still trying to pick himself up off the floor. He just understood what he did was wrong. I did not yell but I did have to hold a couple of other boys from jumping on him. That happened once.
Remember we all all imperfect parents, that’s just the truth of the matter. However when the relationship between you and your child first begins you must set boundaries. They have to know that you are an authority figure you are the leader. You are not a peer. You do not have to be the iron fist of Russia but you do have to insure them that you are to be respected.
In a time where children think that to give someone respect they must first earn it. I can see that to a certain point. But the time that you gave birth, or took in that child as someone you care for you earn automatic respect. I am a little old school like that and think that you should respect your elders. I know there are some dead beat parents out there, let’s just be truthful about it, and I bet that is hard to respect. But if I am old enough to birth you a little respect should be given. At least respond when an adult say something to you.
How do we teach respect? Here are 3 ways that I have learned to teach respect.
1. Teach your child to say yes, or yes ma’am or no sir. And teach them how to put a “handle” on adults names. For example have your child address your neighbors or anyone old enough to be a parent as Ms or Mr. My brother and I were never allowed to call adults by there first names. Even if they told us to, our mom would give us the fiery look of death. However growing up that set boundaries of respect for us. My mom was always complimented on how respectful we were when in public. I, to this day, cannot get away with answering my mom with a “huh” or even a “yes” it is “yes ma’am”. Your child will begin to be respectful in and outside of the home.
2. Be a parent FIRST. My daughter knew that she could talk to me about anything. She knew that it had to be in a respectful way though. We play around and I use to let her get away with a playful “girl bye” but she knew that I am her mother. All of my other sideline children knew that they could come to Ms. L for anything but I was not their peer, I was their youth leader, mentor, or auntie. The boundaries were set and kept.
3. Respect them and the adults in their lives. Children learn best by seeing. They watch our ever moves with hawk like eyes. So give them something to emulate. Do not interrupt them when they are having a conversation without an “excuse me”. Respect their property, because after all it is yours. lol…… It is ok to knock on their door before entering. You do not have to wait on an invitation but knocking shows that you respect their space.
It’s really the small things that make the most impact. It is never too late to start new behaviors and habits. I would love to hear your thoughts and ideas. Leave me a comment or click here to join us on facebook.